A friend of mine on Facebook posted the chart below today and it got me thinking about how important it is to really understand each other.  For example: It took me a year (ask my wife, I’m a slow learner) to realize when my Senior Pastor says, “Mike, staff meeting in five minutes” what he really means is, “Mike, I’m ready for staff meeting now, but I don’t want to be rude and demand your presence immediately.”  While I’m still usually the straggler of the three of us, I now realize that I should finish up what I’m doing and head in to his office as soon as I can wrap things up.

What are some of your sayings that seem to mean one thing while you really mean something else?  What are some things your son/daughter/friend says that seems to mean something different?

Understanding each other is hard work, but it is possible.

Parents – Are you taking studying your teenager to learn what they care about?
Teenagers – Are you studying your parents to figure out what makes them tick?

PS: Much to my wife’s delight, I think this chart means I should move to England immediately, because I pretty much fall in line with what the middle column.

You haven’t signed up for Camp Berea’s Deep Freeze 2012 yet?  What are you waiting for!

What: The best winter camp you’ll ever attend!  Jesus, Music, Food, Carpetball, Tubing Hill, Paintball (costs extra), Volleyball Tournament, Basketball Tournament, Board Games, and tons more.
Where: Camp Berea, Hebron New Hampshire
When: March 16-18, 2012.  Meet at EBC Friday at 5:00pm sharp (bus leaves the parking lot at 5:15 with or without you); Return to EBC around 3:30pm Sunday.
Cost: $130 total ($60 deposit due Sunday, Jan. 29th, remaining $70 due Sunday, March 4th).  Financial assistance is available upon request, please call Pastor Mike at the EBC Office for details.

The permission form below must be fully completed and turned in to Pastor Mike or another Youth Leader along with the remaining $70 payment on Sunday, March 4th.

Berea 2012 Student Forms(paintball form included)

What Should I Bring (and what should I leave home)?

Deep Freeze Invitation- Want to invite some friends to come?  Print these bad boys out and watch your friends just beg to come… ok, maybe not, but they have all the information they need to make be informed.

Got some questions that you can’t find the answers to?  Call or Email Pastor Mike in the EBC office.

As if you need more convincing that you should come (or send your teen), here’s the video Berea put together to promote last year’s Deep Freeze:

When was the last time you heard something that simultaneously made you think “Duh!” and “Wow, that’s brilliant!”  I’ve had a ton of those moments this week, let me share just one:

Duffy clarified that it’s only “Communication” when the intended message is what your audience actually comprehends.  Duh, right?  Brilliant… right!

How often have we left a sermon or youth group and asked, “What was the sermon/lesson about?” only to hear a very different summary than we would give?  Here are three cultural issues we need to work through in order for Communication to happen:

1. Understand your own Culture – How are you a “product” of your own culture (ethnicity, education, geography, financial status, religion, family of origin, language, dress style, etc.).  If you don’t understand your own biases and preferences, you’ll tend to communicate as if everyone should be like you.
2. Understand your Message – I mean REALLY understand your message.  What are you trying to say?  What does the Scripture actually say and mean (without jumping right into application, just understand what the passage actually says and means).  What do you want people to hear and understand and remember?
3. Understand your Audience – Who are you speaking to?  What is their culture (all the same things listed above)?  What do they already believe about life, faith, eternity, etc.  How will they best hear and understand the Message you’re trying to communicate?

It’s not what you say… it’s what they hear.

When we do these three things, Communicate is more likely to happen.  Which of these comes most naturally to you?  Which of these is the most difficult for you?  I’d love to hear from you…

Dear Leaders of Emmanuel,

As I continue to prepare for my upcoming Doctor of Ministry residency at GCTS, I’m filled with a number of emotions.  I’m thankful and overwhelmed by my family’s sacrifice and support, making this opportunity even possible.  I’m anxious to finish remaining class work and to make sure I’m well prepared.  I’m excited to discuss what I’ve been learning and challenged by with my fellow students and program mentors.  I’m greatly blessed by how I have been stretched and challenged to continue growing in ministry.  Here is the description from the syllabus for this year’s residency:

The two-week residency will focus on the cultural context of ministry to the emerging generations including children, youth, and college students/young adults. Week one will focus on developing a Christian theology of culture, including examination of the definitions of culture and the functions of culture. Cross-cultural mission principle and theory, contextualization, and multicultural issues will be explored. Week two will focus on the role culture plays in shaping the worldviews, experiences and lives of the emerging generations. In addition you will learn principles of cultural exegesis and analysis. (The third residency will focus on ministry praxis.) 

As I study and read (I have at least read 22 books, totaling over 5000 pages this year, in addition to writing many papers), I am constantly wrestling through the impact my studies could have on my ministry at Emmanuel.  In addition to the required readings for class I have done research regarding the “Formative Influences” that shape and mold adolescents: Physical and hormonal changes, Postmodernism, the Role of Media, Peers, Family systems, and others.  Alongside my reading and studies I have provided three seminars for parents to attend as well as launching the Faith at Home Forum as a way to integrate what I’m learning into the ministry at EBC.  I have also done a fair amount of reading on the practice of Catechesis, which has largely been abandoned by Baptists and is considered a “Catholic” or “Presbyterian” thing to do.  I am more and more convinced that developing a biblical and contextual Catechesis program would disciple both parents and their families.

My “Project 1” paper is entitled “Foundations for Parent-Teen Discipleship: Helping Parents Understand the Formative Influences on their Teenager,” which focuses on laying a Biblical/Theological Foundation for my final thesis.  I am currently anticipating a final thesis which will seek to develop a strategy whereby churches can grow more obedient to their calling in discipling parents to disciple their children, particularly their teenagers. This thesis would integrate parental responsibility and the church’s duty in discipling the next generation.  This would be done through: first, understanding our biblical calling to disciple the next generation; second, understanding today’s adolescents; and third, by understanding what is most important for adolescents to be taught regarding the Gospel and how parents and churches can partner together to effectively hold out the Gospel to the next generation.

During the Christian Education hour (9:30-10:30am) on Sunday, January 29th I will be presenting an overview of what I’ve been studying and how I see that impacting Emmanuel Baptist Church’s ministry to children and teenagers.  I hope you can attend, I look forward to receiving your input on how to move forward with this vision for partnering with parents for the sake of discipling the next generation!

In Christ,
Pastor Mike

Lately he’s been teaching me a lot about obedience: his obedience… and mine.  My wife and I feel like we’re constantly having this conversation with him:

Me: “Hey, stop stealing your sister’s toys.  You need to share.”
Son: nothing
Me: “Did you hear me?”
Son: “Sorry”
Me: “Come here, we need to talk.”
Son: nothing
Me: “I said come here“
Son: “I love you daddy”
Me: “I love you too buddy, and because you love me you should obey me and mommy.”
Son: “Okay”

We proceed to have this conversation a few times a day.  Now, I’m not throwing my son under the bus… afterall, he’s an almost-four-year-old boy… I’m really throwing myself under the bus, because how often does the Holy Spirit have this same exact conversation with me?!

My wife and I are really careful to make sure that we don’t use God as our disciplinarian who is constantly looking out to see if our kids are naughty or nice.  Too often, Christian parents fall into the trap of using the Bible as a book of morality (Be nice, Help other, Obey mom and dad) and less as a book where God has revealed Himself to us (God made you, You sin – yes, we teach our son that he sins and use the word “sin” – but God loves you SOOOO much that he became a man named Jesus so he could forgive your sins and live inside you).  If you’re looking for a good Bible to read with your kids at night, I recommend the Jesus Storybook Bible, the words are sometimes more geared towards older kids and the stories can be a bit lengthy at time, but I very highly recommend for anyone, not just children!  What I love so much about the JSB is how it captures the Bible story as so much more than a story to tell you to be nice, it makes that connection while demonstrating how the entire Bible is all about Jesus.

God definitely does care about what we do and whether or not we’re “good people.”  But to always use God as a divine disciplinarian and as the one who demands us to be nice and to share our toys is to simply make God into a rule-giver.  Sure, God gives rules… but He’s so much more than a rule giver, isn’t He?

The last few days have been filled with reminders that obedience flows from love.  As I discipline my son for not obeying, it’s a reminder that loving dads discipline out of love while loving sons obey out of love.  There’s a very simple, yet profound, lesson to be learned here.

Obedience flows from love.  When I grow impatient with my son, how can I not feel convicted of my own hypocrisy: demanding of him what I don’t give to God, my Heavenly Father, who deserves so much more honor and respect and obedience than I deserve from my kids?

“Jesus replied, ’If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.’” (John 14:23-24)

• Bad presents
• Family tension and conflict
• Sleep depravation

Obviously I’m making up PCD, but I do think many of us face something like it.  Maybe you got bad presents and thought, “Seriously, do you know me at all?  You thought I’d like this!?”  Maybe you’re upset because of what you didn’t get (“If you loved me then you’d know ______ is all I wanted, but you don’t care!”).  Sometimes the mentality that “It’s the thought that counts” makes us even more depressed… because we got things we like, but it’s obvious that very little thought went into the gift.  Post-Christmas Despression…

Maybe you’re upset because you saw too little (or too much!) of your family.  Maybe your parents are divorced or your family simply doesn’t get along, or maybe someone in your family is in the hospital or has recently passed away – for whatever reason, there was someone you love who wasn’t around this Christmas.  Post-Christmas Depression…

Here are a few questions to work you out of your PCD:

1. Why are you so disappointed in presents?  You know that stuff can’t give you happiness, but still get that zing of excitement when you hold something shiny and new… and that “zing” can become addictive.  Presents are nice, I’ve got nothing against presents, but we need to be careful about finding love through receiving presents.  Find love through relationship with the gift-giver, not the gift (that works both in our relationship with God and with other people).
2. How did you add to family conflict?  Are you a peacemaker who is quick to address conflict humble and work through it, or do you pass over conflict by either ignoring it completely or saying “I forgive you” or “I’m sorry”… even when it’s not true?  Conflict in your family simply means that you’re a family… of course there’s going to be conflict!  But I’m convinced you’ll grow stronger by working through conflict than by skirting around it.  Take your share of the blame, demonstrate your maturity, and be a peacemaker.
3. Who were you missing, and why?  This is a tough one, because for a lot of people this is completely out of their hands.  Take the time to honor the person who was missed so deeply, and thank God for giving him/her to you and for teaching you so much through him/her.
4. What do I really desire the most?  Do you desire intimacy and fellowship with Jesus Christ or do you really want fun/pleasure/success/recognition?  If you’re rolling your eyes saying, “Whatever Mike, that’s such a churchy thing to say!” then that probably means you should really think hard and long about this question.  If I desire an iPad more than I desire to conquer my sin, then that’s a problem.  If I desire a new Kindle more than I desire intimacy with God in my prayer-life, then I have some seriously messed up priorities.  Sure, ask for an iPad or Kindle, that’s not my point.  Maybe reason you’re suffering from Post-Christmas Depression is because you’re desiring the wrong things most.  

Honestly, I think today (yes, two days before Christmas day!) might be the first day this year that I’ve legitimately gotten excited about Christmas coming.  Is that terrible of me?

I know it’s terribly cliche for a pastor to say (or write!) religious platitudes about the beauty, glory, miracle, and joy of Christmas.  (But aren’t cliches often truths that have been heard so often they’re taken for granted?  Maybe we should be nicer to cliches?)  Christmas really is a wonderful time for Christians to reflect on their faith.  Give presents, have fun, drink eggnog, but please take time here and there to reflect on the reality that God became a man. If you think about it, that’s really quite the ridiculous claim (unless it’s true).

O Come, O Come Emmanuel has always been my favorite Christmas hymn.  I came across the version below on YouTube a few years ago and I really like it.  There’s just something about it that conveys the longing and the desire for Christ that I should have all year round.  Even as I write, I’m reminded of what the very name Jesus means, “God saves” or “God is salvation.”  We all long for salvation, even if we don’t realize it.  I think that’s why buying something new (or receiving a new gift) makes us feel so good, because it’s like a clean slate, a new start.  But salvation is in God, through Jesus Christ, and can’t be bought.

The gift of Christmas is Jesus.  Not the cute baby Jesus, but the lived and suffered and died and rose from the grave and ascended into heaven for you Jesus.  Yes, the baby Jesus and the “God-Man Jesus” are the same person, but when we focus only on Jesus as a cute baby  at Christmas and forget the rest of his life then we’re missing the point.  Heaven was breaking through in order to rescue and redeem God’s humanity and all creation!

Emmanuel (“God With Us”) has come… and he’s coming again to finish the job!

First, for those who are unfamiliar with “Tebowing,” UrbanDictionary defines it as, “To get down on a knee and start praying, even if everyone else around you is doing something completely different.”  Tim Tebow, the QB for the Denver Broncos, is a very devout Christian and is outspoken about his faith, and his “prayer posture” has become something of a cultural fad that’s sweeping the nation.  There’s even a website devoted to pictures of people Tebowing in public, Tebowing.com.

As usual, I see some good to the Tebowing craze, and bad.  Here we go…

The Good:

• Maybe people actually pray while Tebowing.  If it gets people who don’t pray to start praying (even trite prayers) then you never know how God might use that.
• Tebowing has people talking about prayer and Jesus in (mostly) positive ways. Sure, most people are saying “God doesn’t care about stupid things like football, doesn’t he have more important things to do.”  We won’t agree with what everyone has to say about prayer and faith, but these conversations don’t usually happen in such public and open ways.  I’ve heard people everywhere talking about their faith openly, and in New England that simply never happens.  So if Tebowing get people to start talking about faith and religion and Christianity in particular, then I’m thankful for it.

The Bad:

• Mockery.  This one’s pretty obvious.  It’s clearly a mockery of Tebow’s faith in particular, and Christians in general.  I personally don’t think Christians should get offended over it and should take it the same way Tebow does: It’s good-natured mockery.  If we can’t laugh at caricatures of ourselves, then we have a pride problem to deal with.
• Tebowing can communicate that prayer is for show.  I don’t think Tebow prays so that the cameras catch him praying, and therefore gets a certain public reputation or celebrity image.  I get the impression from Tebow that he legitimately wants to pray in order to thank his Heavenly Father for the opportunity and gifts to play football.  But we need to keep in mind that Perception Isn’t Everything, But It’s Close.  Jesus taught the value of private/secret prayer as opposed to the Pharisees who loved to pray in public so they would be seen.  Again, I give Tebow the benefit of the doubt, but people could easily accuse him of this (and I’ve heard people accuse him of this).
• Tebowing trivializes prayer.  I often say “There’s no such thing as a small prayer.  We measure prayer by the One we’re praying to, not by the words we use or our ability to pray well.”  If that’s true, then Tebowing represents prayer in a laughable, cheap, and completely ridiculous light.  I don’t think they intend to trivialize prayer (some do, but I think most are blissfully ignorant), but that’s just the reality.  Again, let me repeat my encouragement again, don’t go to battle against Tebowing and I’m not personally offended by it, but I do think we should take the opportunity it opens up to us in order to discuss what people believe about prayer and faith and God, etc.

All in all, I think the Tebow phenomenon is a really positive thing: people who never discuss religion/spirituality are doing so openly and are interested in hearing from Christians about their beliefs.  I’m still amazed that I can’t remember hearing anyone say to me, “I think Tebow’s a fake and a hypocrite.”  People are fascinated by him because he seems to be so genuine and real, and that’s a wonderfully refreshing thing for me to see after all the Christian leaders who are usually in the news for one scandal or another.

I’m confident that Tebowing is just a passing fad, so if you’re someone who’s thinking, “But you just said it trivializes prayer!  Rally the troops, we need to fight this!” then I’d encourage you to settle down… by the time you get the troops rallied the Tebowing trend will be on its way out of our cultural consciousness.

Instead of protesting because you feel offended or mocked, take the opportunity to ask some questions like these:

• If you could ask Tebow a question, what would it be?
• Do you think people are rooting against Tebow because of his religious beliefs?  Do you think that’s right, or should that be a non-issue?
• What do you think of Tebow being so outspoken about his faith?  Are you offended, or are you ok with him talking about his faith in Jesus so frequently?
• Why do you think Tebow is so open and public about his faith?
• What do you think about prayer?  What sort of things do you think God cares about?
• Do you think God listens to Tebow more than he’d listen to you when you pray? Why?

Especially after his latest come-from-behind victory against the Chicago Bears, bringing the Bronco’s to a 7-1 record as their starting QB, it seems that Tebow-mania is in full swing.  I’ve been holding off on writing about Tebow until now, but since he seems all the rage I figured it was time to put some thoughts to writing.

So far, Tebow is a living example of Titus 2:7-8

“In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.”

Here’s what I love about Tebow:

• He seems so genuine.  I don’t know him personally, but I haven’t yet heard of anyone who does know him from college coming out from the woodwork saying that he’s a phony.  If he’s a phony or a hypocrite, surely someone would’ve surfaced by now to let us know.
• He’s not ashamed to give Jesus the glory.  Sure, you can debate whether or not he should “tone things down” about his faith, but everyone knows what he believes.  I frequently cringe when musicians give Jesus the glory for their Grammy (often, for a song that glorifies violence, sex, or drug-use), but when Tebow does it he seems totally genuine and humble.
• He’s a great role model to look up to.  When we look around at people who are frequently named in magazines and the news, Tebow stands out among the rest.  In the midst of our fascination of all things “Rich and Famous,” Tebow stands out for being so drastically different and mysterious.  He keeps on winning, even though he shouldn’t.  He doesn’t fit the mold for anything.  He doesn’t really fit into any box that anyone tries to squeeze him into.
• He wins, and he inspires those around him to win.  It’s not always pretty, but he wins even when the odds are stacked against him and people are hoping that he fails.  I’m not so certain that he’s “God’s Quarterback,” but he doesn’t give up when others would.  People point to the Bronco’s defense as the reason why they’ve started winning, but they have the same defense they had when they were losing all those games before Tebow started as QB.  Not only does Tebow win, he makes those around him winners too!

Here are a few things I’m concerned about:

• Idolatry.  I’m not concerned that Tebow would become an idolater as much as I’m concerned that he’d become an idol.  Criticizing Tebow’s form or game-performance is fair, but there are some Christians out there who refuse to hear it.  Tebow points to Jesus, not himself – let’s follow his lead.
• Persecution & Tebow.  I’ve heard people say that Tebow is being persecuted for being so vocal about his faith.  Persecution is intentional harm done to someone because of their faith in Jesus Christ.  Gossip and slander isn’t persecution unless they bring about actual harm to the person.  So far, I simply don’t see any cause for making Tebow a martyr.
• Failure.  If Tebow fails, will my faith in Christ be shaken?  No… but I fear that many people could be placing faith in Tebow that doesn’t belong there.  If he fails as a NFL Quarterback or if he fails morally, we will be disappointed, but we should be  careful to not place our faith in Tebow but in Christ.

I’m not convinced that God is making Tebow win.  If you watch the games and know a bit about football you can see a lot of things seem to happen for Tebow late in the fourth quarter that he’s capitalized on.  He’s a good, smart football player.  Do I think it’s possible that God has chosen to give Tebow success so that Christ would receive the glory?  It’s possible.  The Gospel Coalition posted a fantastic article written by Owen Strachan today on this very issue, please take a few minutes to read it (yes, it’s very theological, so it’s not really “casual reading,” but it’s a great article to chew on):  “Tebow, Calvin, and the Hand of God in Sports”

If you haven’t watched the video embedded above, do yourself a favor and take two minutes to watch it.  Bob Costas did an excellent job highlighting Tebow in a very honoring and fair way.  The script to what he wrote can be found here.

The most clever article I’ve read on Tebow comes from Jason Gay in the Wall Street Journal, “What Tim Tebow Can’t Do.”  Here’s an excerpt:

Despite all of these issues, people still like Tim Tebow, which is mystifying. It’s as if they can’t recognize his flaws. They’re blinded by hype. They’re willfully ignorant. They want to believe in a myth.

One day they will see all of Tim Tebow’s shortcomings. How he’s never once sang O Canada at a Vancouver Canucks game. How he’s never captured a live dinosaur. How he’s too chicken to run for President.

Tim Tebow never, ever makes everybody happy. He can’t really do anything besides win football games. Since when did anyone care about that?

Here are two more good Tebow posts I’ve come across:

• Jonathan McKee: “Can the World Deal with Tebow’s Zeal?”
• Frank Bruni: “Tim Tebow’s Gospel of Optimism”

• Why do I seem so negative?
• Why can’t I be more positive and encouraging?
• Do I really think that I know more than everyone else who like this song or movie or Christmas light display? Who are you to judge?
• You think about yourself as an approachable and gracious guy, but your blog doesn’t really reflect that –  so is your blog wrong about how it portrays you… or are you wrong in how you think about yourself?

And this just makes me wrestle.  Writing is hard work, but it can also be mindless and easy to simply let your fingers start typing without really thinking about what you’re putting out there on the internet for everyone to read.  I want to write thoughtfully.  Blogging has been one of the most fruitful disciplines I’ve cultivated over the last two years because it has forced me to think through a number of issues more intentionally thank I would have if I wasn’t going to write about it.

Part of the reason I blog is because I learn best by writing: I Write to Understand.  So much of what my readers find up here is a blog full of “half-baked” thoughts, not fully thought-through and well researched posts that are ready to be sent to a publisher.  I stand behind what I’ve written on this blog, but there are a number of posts I wish I had spent more time on crafting a better and more gracious way to communicate my message (and I just don’t have time to go through all my blog posts and edit them, sorry).

I’m not really a fan of “New Years Resolutions,” so I’m not making one of those.  But I want to commit to my readers that I want to be more intentional in making my blog posts sound more like “Mike” and less like “Partially thought-through reflections from Mike’s brain.”

I hope that this blog will continue to serve as a forum where I can write blog posts that are helpful to teenagers, parents, and youth workers where they are encouraged to think through various issues, primarily: Living for Christ in today’s culture, Issues adolescents face, Parenting teenagers, and Ministering to today’s teenagers.

Until I get a better grip on becoming a better blogger I’m left with the honest (and humbling) admission that I need to personally take ownership for what I’ve written and combat pride and judgmentalism and simply hold onto God’s Word as the Holy Spirit continues to make me more and more like Jesus.

I’m aware that a number of my friends on Facebook who are not connected to my ministry at EBC read what I write up here, and for the times when these posts have unintentionally made you second guess what kind of person/Christian I am, I hope you’ll give me some grace and keep on reading.  

PS: In case you’re wondering, this post isn’t the result of anything in particular and I haven’t received complaints from people.  This is simply the result my desire to better reflect the grace and humility I hope to give in person, and I’m not so sure it’s been doing that very well.