What’s the difference between the fire in a fireplace and a fire that’s burning your house down? Boundaries.
Is there such thing as a safe fire? Yes. And No. Even a lit candle which is in a jar can burn your house down if that candle is bumped off the table and the flame spreads beyond it’s jar/boundary.
Sex and sexuality are the same way. God made sex as a wonderful thing… but within its proper boundaries. On television and in movies sex is used as a shortcut to deep relationships, but God gave us sex as the pinnacle expression of love and intimacy within marriage.
I know many people who have good marriages, but whose marriages are seriously affected because of the previous sexual experiences one or both members had before they got married. Sexual purity paves the way to intimacy.
The best definition for intimacy I’ve come across is this: “Intimacy is the joy of knowing someone fully and being known by that person with no fear of rejection” (Andy Stanley, The Seven Checkpoints. Howard Books, 2001. p.81). I believe we all crave that kind of intimate relationship. If we listened to the media, we’d think we get that kind of intimacy through sex. But that intimate relationship comes from sexual purity!
So what are your Moral Boundaries? Where is your “line” drawn? How far is too far for you?
- The further you go, the faster you go
- The further you go, the further you want to go
- The further you go, the more difficult it is to go back
So set clear Moral Boundaries TODAY! If you wait until you’re alone with your boyfriend/girlfriend to define and defend those boundaries you will eventually go further than you originally want (and further than God wants too!). Here are four keys to setting clear Moral Boundaries:
- Know your own boundaries first, and stick to them
- Discuss clear boundaries (if you can’t discuss boundaries, you probably shouldn’t be in this relationship)
- Agree on clear boundaries (if you can’t agree on boundaries, you definitely shouldn’t be in this relationship)
- Don’t sabotage yourself! (as in: Don’t “hang out” in a house all by yourselves and then wonder why you went too far)
So what do you do if you’ve already gone too far?
- Stop! Take a break in the relationship and evaluate whether you need to end it to save yourself.
- Drop! Pray. Confess your sin to God and ask him daily to give you His strength to regain purity.
- Roll! Get away from bad influences and get closer to godly influences
Remember God’s love overcomes all sin when you confess and repent.
- “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:11-12
- “But God demonstrates is own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8