“Break Your Heart”

If someone warned you “I know I got a problem with misbehaving. If you fall for me I’m not easy to please, I might tear you apart.  I’ll tell you from the start, I’m only gonna break your heart” would you want to be in a relationship with him or her?  I HOPE NOT!!

Those are the lyrics (slightly edited) of Taio Cruz’s #1 hit, “Break Your Heart.”  The song is catchy, and so the lyrics might go by unnoticed… but watch out.

Girls, the “playa” might make you feel special (for now); don’t let him convince you into thinking he’ll treat you any differently than how he’s treated other girls.  He won’t.  You will get hurt, and it won’t be pretty.

I’d like to share two posts from “The Source 4 Youth Ministry” about this song.  This first one gives the reaction of a Christian woman who fell for a ‘player’ as a teenager.  This second post gives a really solid and thoughtful evaluation of this song.

Poll: What Do You Believe About the Bible?

Please answer honestly:

Thoughts on Formspring.me

If you aren’t familiar with “Formspring,” here’s a brief description from their website:

“Send and receive anonymous questions, and learn more about people you find interesting by following their answers.”

In my opinion, the most brilliant thing Formspring has done is teaming up with Facebook so that one’s Formspring page sends my questions/replies to his or her Facebook page.  People can even sign in to their Formspring page by using their Facebook login information!

The more I check out different Formspring pages, the more I really hate Formspring.  Here’s why:

1. It’s anonymous: most questions are harmless, but some very cowardly people ask mean questions (“Why are you so fat?” “Are you gay?” “Why are you so stupid?” etc.) because they’re “faceless” and unknown.  Very cowardly.
2. It feeds into narcissism: the mentality that you are the center of the world.
3. If perpetuates insecurity: teenagers are already walking around silently asking “Do you like me?” and “Am I special?”  Sites like Formspring only feed into this insecurity and can do some serious harm (see reason 1 above).
4. It feeds the notion that you can learn all about me by reading about me over the internet (as opposed to actually spending time with me).
5. It makes cyber-bullying infinitely easier, all while being anonymous.

Disclaimer: When you submit a question, you are given the option to include your Formspring account name, but most people don’t.

In the past two weeks I’ve grown increasingly fascinated by this site and have spent time checking out pages of teens I know and teens I don’t know – and I haven’t seen one mean comment with someone’s actual name attached to it so you know who it’s from.

Like almost anything on the internet, some people’s Formspring pages are completely clean and they have not been harassed.  But it seems like those people are the minority and are very lucky (so far).  My “professional” opinion is to STAY AWAY from Formspring.me.

The Bottom Line:
I see very few benefits from having your own Formspring page, but many downsides to having one.  If I was a parent of a teenager today, I would allow my son/daughter to have a Facebook page (if I had complete access to it and could look through it with my son/daughter to ask questions about different comments, pictures, etc.), but I would absolutely NOT let my son/daughter have a page on Formspring.me.

Get off the Bench and Huddle Up!

Check out this video from Francis Chan:

Isn’t that so true!  Why is it that we listen to sermons on Sunday (or whenever else you go to church), then you live like the pastor said nothing of value when you get home?  I do it, you do it, we’re all guilty… some of us more frequently than others.

How much do we come to church to be entertained?  How much do we come to church really desiring to worship our King and Savior?  Do we expect to hear something from Scripture that will actually change us?

If we attend church every Sunday of our lives, but do not do what Scripture teaches, then are like those football players who huddle up and then run to sit down on the bench.

“If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching.”(John 14:23)

Get off the bench and huddle up! Open your Bible… and obey the commands of Christ.

LWAYG: The T3 Challenge

We are starting an experiment for students in our ministry who choose to participate: the T3 challenge! During this nine-week experience, our teenagers will discover how God can use the three T’s of stewardship: their Talent, Treasure, and Time.

One of the foundational ideas for the T3 challenge is that our young people are the church of today, not just the church of tomorrow. The student-groups will put this truth into practice as they explore biblical teachings about stewardship and then serve our community through their projects.

I want you to be aware of three important ideas about the projects our teenagers will do during the T3 challenge over the course of the next two months:

1. Each group will raise or gather the finances needed to accomplish a project. Whatever money each group raises doesn’t belong to the students—it belongs to God, who entrusts it to the team to use it wisely on his behalf.  The Youth Ministry will match up to $50 of what the students fundraise (if a group rasises $40, they receive $40 more).
2. The students will invest the resources in something or someone that advances God’s kingdom and purposes. The plan is between the team and God. Pastor Mike will serve as a guide and an aide, but will not be heavily involved in the planning of each group’s project. Our teenagers will spend a lot of time talking and praying about the best way each team can honor God and serve others.
3. At the end of the T3 challenge, the groups will have the chance to share with the youth group (and hopefully EBC too!) what happened to the initial money and how students saw God multiply the resources and minister to people’s lives.

I’d encourage you to take a few minutes each day to pray for these groups. God will give our teenagers incredible opportunities to impact people’s lives. Pray that they’ll be ready and available and willing for everything God wants to do.

I’m convinced God can use this experience to leave a lasting change in our students’ lives as they discover how to use their Talent, Treasure, and Time to make a difference in people’s lives!

LWAYG: What is T3? (Talent, Treasure, Time)

“T3” is the name of our newest series with the High School group.  T3 stands for “Talent, Treasure, Time” and is a reminder that God has entrusted everyone with these three possessions and He wants us to use each of them in a way that honors Him.

In John 6:1-13 we read about one of Jesus’ most famous miracles.  This is where Jesus is teaching in the countryside and feeds thousands and thousands of people (the Bible says there were 5000 men, so after including women and children there could’ve been over 10,000 people there!) with one young boy’s lunch.

I want you to think about who in this story you’re the most like:

• The Disciples: “Jesus, this can’t be done!  The problem’s too big!”
• The Crowd: “Feed me, I’m hungry!”
• The Boy:  “It isn’t much, but Jesus, I’m giving you all I’ve got.”

Do you use what God’s given you to make much of Jesus?  Now you might say that you don’t have any money, you don’t have a job, so this doesn’t apply to you.  But what do you have?

We all have the three T’s: Talent, Treasure, Time.

• Talent: The stuff you’re good at (music, sports, drama, art, writing, speaking, listening, etc.)
• Treasure: The stuff you have (money, clothes, car, music, etc.)
• Time: Availability

Think about how you use these three things.  Most of the time when we talk about “serving others” we think about having to go out of our way.  That’s good – we should go out of our way to serve others… but we should also look for opportunities to show people the importance of our faith right where we are!

If you’re involved in drama, how are you using your T3 to show people Christ while you’re at drama.  If you’re in band, how are you using your T3 to show people Christ while you’re at band.  You get the idea…

This is the foundation for the T3 Challenge, which I will write about in a separate post.

Our Camp Berea Video

Here’s the video we’ve produce out experience at Deep Freeze 2010, which was at Camp Berea in Hebron, NH.

How Much Media is Too Much?

Kaiser Family Foundation's report on "Changes in Media Use" among minors within the past five years

According to Walt Mueller of the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding, the typical teenager uses some form of Media (TV, Internet, Music, Cell Phone, Video Games, etc.) for 7:38 every day!  That’s crazy… until I think about how much I use my computer, watch TV, and use my cell phone… then I call it “work.”  It’s easy to hear figures like this and react harshly, but we all need to take an honest look at ourselves and the examples we’re setting.

Here’s a link to a great article on the “Source For Youth Ministry” about Media Consumption.  It’s not a short read, but it’s full of helpful tips to help parents discuss music and other media with their teenage children.

Teens: Do you look at screens (TV, Computer, Cell Phone) so often that your eyes start to hurt and your vision is getting worse?  Do you need to listen to music to fall asleep because you find silence either scary or too unsettling?  When was the last time you read a book or magazine and truly enjoyed it?

Parents: What example are you setting for your sons and daughters in these areas?  Are you talking to your kids about the music they listen to and the shows/movies they watch and what sites they visit online?

Teen Depression: Don’t Ignore it!

Depression is really serious and can make you feel completely alone, sad, and can completely change your personality.  Teens who used to be bubbly and full of life can suddenly become constantly sleepy and argumentative.  It’s important for all parents to know some of the warning signs of depression in teenagers, because Teen Depression shows itself differently than Adult Depression.

Some warning signs include:

• Sadness or hopelessness
• Changes in eating and sleeping habits
• Lack of enthusiasm and energy/motivation (laziness)
• Irritability and increased hostility/anger
• Suicidal thoughts & long, awkward good-byes
• Frequent crying
• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
• Difficulty concentrating

Video: More than Sad

This is part one of a four-part series I found on YouTube.  These are not Christian-based videos, but they are very helpful in painting a picture of what Teen Depression looks like.  If you click the YouTube icon in the video screen it will bring the video up on YouTube’s page and you should see the following videos in the series there.

Difference Between Depression in Teens and Adults:

Most adults who struggle with depression walk around and seem downcast and self-deprecating; however, many depressed teens simply seem tired and irritable.  While most adults isolate themselves from others because of their depression, many teenagers actually increase the amount of time they spend with their friends.  The reason for this (according to what I’ve read) is because they feel that adults cannot understand the depth of their pain and inner-struggles, but their friends can – so they isolate themselves from adults, but not from their peers.  Another difference between Teen & Adult Depression is that teens often become more aggressive and argumentative whereas adults tend to become more isolated and withdrawn.

Some Statistics: (from teendepression.org)

• About 20 percent of teens will experience teen depression before they reach adulthood.
• Between 10 to 15 percent of teenagers have some symptoms of teen depression at any one time.
• About 5 percent of teens are suffering from major depression at any one time
• As many as 8.3 percent of teens suffer from depression for at least a year at a time, compared to about 5.3 percent of the general population.
• Most teens with depression will suffer from more than one episode. 20 to 40 percent will have more than one episode within two years, and 70 percent will have more than one episode before adulthood. Episodes of teen depression generally last about 8 months.
• Dysthymia, a type of mild, long-lasting depression, affects about 2 percent of teens, and about the same percentage of teens develop bipolar disorder in their late teenage years. 15 percent of teens with depression eventually develop bipolar disorder.
• A small percent of teens also suffer from seasonal depression, usually during the winter months in higher latitudes.

Resources/Websites for More Info:

• This is the best site I’ve found so far and has a very thorough treatment on this important topic.  There’s also a great list of categorized links on this page.
• Statistics about Teen Depression.
• Teen Depression in Guys
• Teen Depression in Girls
• Teen Depression & Violence
• Teen Depression & Suicide
• Teens & Antidepressants
• Cutting & Self-Injury

One Final Note: Depression & Faith

Many Christians feel that they are not “allowed” to admit they struggle with depression, and therefore never seek out the help they need.  Don’t fall prey to this thinking!  It is not a sin to struggle with depression.  Depression is not in God’s design, but we live in a fallen world with death and sickness and natural disasters (none of which were in God’s original design).  Seek the help you need (which may be medicine, it may not), but make sure you are seeking Jesus Christ first.  Calling out to God for help does not mean that you will immediately be “healed” or “fixed” – and that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with your faith or that God doesn’t care about you anymore.  Seek God first, and seek the help He has put around you through other people.

How do we Know Love?

Ok, so that title’s a little manipulative to get you to read this… sorry:

Here’s what the Bible says about love:

• “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
• “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.”  (1 John 3:16)

I absolutely love Matt Redman’s song “This is How We Know.”  Below is a video with the lyrics and the song, I hope you enjoy it and are drawn to remember the love of God displayed through Christ’s death on the cross for you.

Here’s a video of Matt Redman talking about the story behind the song: